@o0Blu3b1rd0o

3 months ago

Yes. I deal with this all of the time. I've learned to ask for help more often. It doesn't mean that I'm weak. I have 2 teenage boys. Why should my asking them to help carry groceries into the house equate to my being weak? It doesn't, right? We're a family. We're a physical moving unit. Not I'm doing everything while they sit on their butts. My asking for help (hopefully😒) teaches them to respect me as their mother (and an older adult). It (again hopefully) shows them and gets them involved in situations that they may observe and say,'Hmmmm...that person has a lot of things to carry into the house. Maybe they would appreciate some help (another goal here, for me, is to teach them empathy-how does having mom carry all that in by herself make her feel? Frustrated? angry? defeated? Unappreciated? Taken advantage of? ...) I HURT my family by not asking for help. If I as a mom don't help to awaken the,'Hmmmmm....how might that individual possibly use some help?' switch in their heads, I feel that would be that failure for me as a mother. And when I ask for another adults help, I hope that I am signaling that asking for help is not a weakness and no one should be looked down on for doing so(unless they are doing so just to be lazy &/or take advantage of another person's kindness.) Ie My one son would not ask his math teacher for help although he was failing. I tried to explain to him that his teacher was there for him to reach out to and to not feel bad that other students didn't ask. His grade is his responsibility. Not their concern....). Lastly, if I don't ask for help, I get worn thin. Then I can't be of much help BC I don't have the capacity to do what I need to completely and correctly. PLUS, when I ask for help, that can free up time that we can then spend together later on in the day

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