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Over-apologizing is a actually a boundaries issue #shorts #boundaries
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44,456 Views ā€¢ Jul 2, 2023 ā€¢ Click to toggle off description
Do you want to learn How to Process Emotions and improve your Mental Health? Sign up for a Therapy in a Nutshell Membership, you'll get access to all of Emmaā€™s courses, workbooks, and a Live Q and A with 100ā€™s of exclusive videos: courses.therapyinanutshell.com/membership

#mentalhealth #boundaries #boundariesarehealthy
Over apologizing is an attempt to control or change another person's feelings or actions.

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Views : 44,456
Genre: Education
Date of upload: Jul 2, 2023 ^^


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YouTube Comments - 129 Comments

Top Comments of this video!! :3

@shellzabelle4146

1 year ago

And then when someone says ā€œstop apologizingā€ and I reply ā€œI know, Iā€™m sorryā€ šŸ¤Ŗ

137 |

@emilyb5557

1 year ago

Tip - start by saying THANK YOU. Thank you for your patience whilst I faff finding my keys etc etc. Both you and the person receiving that will feel SO much more comfortable than saying sorry. You lift them up for their kindness/patience/understanding. I do this when I'm running late in clinic and honestly the response is better & I don't have to keep saying sorry for the NHS being a mess. Win win.

16 |

@redhead911126

1 year ago

I have been the over apologizer. It's such an uncomfortable place feeling like you walk on eggshells for everyone. As someone who also has been on the receiving end of an over apologizer, it's really awkward and doesn't make us feel better about anything. A healthy person doesn't feel comfortable with someone else fawning over them or for their sake, only abusers enjoy that.

52 |

@johanna90444

1 year ago

Taking responsibility for things that arenā€™t ours! Yes, huge issue for a lot of us šŸ™šŸ’œ!

6 |

@kazumasatou6256

1 year ago

It took me 40 years to learn to tell people to fuck off. Its liberating.

3 |

@jonathangehman4005

1 year ago

It took me 'til I was almost 55 to learn that. It also devalues your apologies when they ARE appropriate and necessary. Thanks for these messages you share, I find them really helpful

2 |

@justpeachy4393

1 year ago

Yeah, I learned this the hard way. I was actually really confused for a long time about why people were angry at me for what I thought was a kindness. People just want the freedom to keep being angry lol

5 |

@doseofemily

1 year ago

I apologize often, but it didn't develop until I was in an abusive marriage for 12 years. I am free now, however I am still working on not saying sorry all the time, especially when I didn't do anything wrong. I am in therapy to fix the damage that monster caused. I would have to apologize to him for things that he did that were wrong, because he would convince me I was at fault for his negative actions or bad behavior. It's very hard to recover from.

14 |

@cindynewman902

1 year ago

I think the same can be said about over thanking someone. Thanking them for something they did over and over and over, and the next day, and days later ..,

4 |

@NotAMuse

1 year ago

Ahhhā€¦ thatā€™s why healthy people comment on it and get so frustrated with me and my therapist says I need to work on my ā€˜personalizationā€™ cognitive thought distortionā€¦ oopsie. šŸ˜…

28 |

@MattCurney

1 year ago

Yes to more of these shorts!

5 |

@sadistickitten

1 year ago

Thank you for explaining this, that's why i do this! I get it now

2 |

@traceyflater

1 year ago

I do this all the time! Thank you for the insight.

5 |

@DonkThikkness

1 year ago

I love how you keep the empathy and humanity in your videos.

1 |

@easeyboys2459

1 year ago

Wow! That was really helpful. Thank you!

1 |

@seinfeldfan442

1 year ago

Well said Emma, just say sorry once.

13 |

@theatrechicka

1 year ago

Ahhh I used to be bad about this and thought I was better but the closer I get to some people the more I notice it coming out and wanting reassurance and validation that we are ok.

1 |

@Goldrefinedthrufire

1 year ago

Oops all Canadians lisen up hahhaa

4 |

@Sc-tch

1 year ago

I had no idea! I'm so sorry!

1 |

@bakekay21

10 months ago

Thank you for the reminder! I need to start saying pardon me or excuse me instead more...

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