@SnarkasticSunny

1 year ago

CFS & Fibro stole my life right as it was getting going. That was decades ago now. I spent years doing everything I could; whatever Drs said, I did. There was no reason for it & no help from doctors. I finally just gave up trying...hard to make & get to Dr appts when no energy to even wake up & get dressed. So many years of CFS had caused many other health issues ~ body isn't meant to be this way so long term. Suicide attempts have not worked. I'm stuck -- not living, but not dead. Marriage destroyed, along with everything else in my life, 1 that I once had. I stopped seeking help, since it was a waste of what little energy I could muster up. I am now 64 & what began in 1980's is no better - is only worse now, in 2023. There's no life to go back to now...no friends; no family; a shell of what was once a marriage & of course, no ability to work! It's so weird to not be part of the rest of the world, to just watch it go right by me, as if I don't exist. Because, reality is -- I don't. Do not recognize the person in mirror... doesn't look like me. Learned long ago that "faking it" is exhausting. No reason to now. I'm a prisoner in my own body, in my bed; living dreams in my head, while I wait to be pronounced "dead".

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