@mayamj1073

6 months ago

I just wanna say that I used to listen to playlists like this and sad songs all the time when I was like 12-17. I was really depressed, I had really bad anxiety and an ED as well as being alone in it. I had a bad family life, bad friends, I hated school and had nobody to talk to about it. I just want everyone in this comment section and going through that kind of stuff to know it gets better. I'm 18 now, I graduated high school last year and I'm finally happy. My life isn't perfect but I got out of some bad environments (school, family life changed as well) and I worked really hard to prioritise my happiness even if it made the people around me unhappy. When I was 12 I thought I would die before I turned 13 and for a long time, I didn't believe there was anything for me in the world. I want you all to know that that isn't true. I want you to know that there is love, even when you can't see it or feel it. I promise you it's there and one day you'll look back and be so grateful you stayed because coming out the other side is so beautiful. I see love in the trees and the grass, in the way the flowers bloom and in the ocean. I see it in strangers walking past me holding hands or laughing together, and in kids playing. I know it's hard to believe now, trust me I do. I know that you probably haven't felt anything other than depressed or numb for a long time so you think that that's all there is but there is more. There's that quote from Richard Kadrey, “When you're born in a burning house, you think the whole world is on fire. But it's not.”. Try to remember that you may have been born into chaos but that won't be your whole life. You will find yourself and your people. There is no one purpose or one key to life, it's only important to live and to love. And to take your time in both of those things. You are often shaped by your experiences and your environment but that is not all you are. You know that deep down and I hope you hold onto those little bits of light and hope until one day you realise you're okay. That you made it. Anyway, this is just me, a random stranger who was once feeling exactly how you are now, telling you that I believe in you. I promise you that there is love out there for you. I promise it's already all around you. If surviving is all you can do then just survive and survive and survive until you realise you've survived and that surviving turns to living. Keep going, this won't be the end of your story. * And I want to add that when I say love I don't just mean romantic love or a relationship. Sometimes it's purely platonic friendships. Sometimes it's lots of friends and others it's just one or two like me. Sometimes it's seeing the love in the natural world, in the trees and the ocean and the stars and the sky. That's where I found love, that's part of what saved me. Sometimes it's in the music, it's knowing someone else feels this way too. It's in knowing you're not alone. What I'm saying is find your definition of love, find what gets you through. Sending love always :)

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